Andrea Rosebrock 
Hello again puppers! I just love dispensing my wise advice and sharing my learned knowledge with my fellow canine companions so here’s some instruction on how to behave at home. You just have to remember, even though our people think they rule, we really know who rules! Arooooooooo…..
BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark — a lot. Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark…
LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.
VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room, barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won’t notice. If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they’ll think it’s gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily to do your part to help correct this problem.
DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.
THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty, as the family dog, to accommodate them.
DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It’s also a good time to practice your sniffing.
NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard, always use the newspaper that’s placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.
HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of the house as possible.
GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your humans have gone to bed.
PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the flower bed to absorb your fall so you don’t injure yourself.
CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never — quite — catch them. It spoils all the fun.
And last but far from least…..
CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry. …Eat a shoe.
Feel free to bark in with any tips you have to share too!
HEY BRUTI, BRANDY HERE MY MOMMY (JANET) & I JUST LOVE YOUR ADVISE. MY MOMMY SAYS I FOLLOW ALL OF YOUR ADVISE TO THE T LOL. RIGHT NOW WE ARE HAVING A BIT OF SNOW SO I LOVE BEING OUTSIDE ROLLING AROUND IN IT LOL. MY FAVIOITE HOLIDAY IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER TURKEY DAY SO DINING ETIQUETTE ADVISE WILL REALLY COME IN HANDY THAT DAY AS TURKEY IS MY FAVORITE FOOD YUMMY IN MY TUMMY. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK & HOPE TO GET SOME MORE GOOD ADVISE SOON. LOVE BRANDY
Hi Brandy, glad you could woof in! Still waiting for the snow here, I just love it!!
Nice to hear you’re taking my advice to heart, I try to make sure it is all well tested, you can ask my momma… LOL
Ah, Turkey Day, a day of such joy… yummy smells and momma is just wonderful when it comes to dropping stuff. She always makes sure we have a nice serving of all the good stuff we’re allowed to have to ourselves. It’s nice to be spoiled!!
I’ll be back soon with some more great advise…
Wags and licks,
Bruti
heyy bruti all that is easy to do, but what about chewing shoes ? thats fun too xD or our sweaters haha no matter what we do or when we do it out owner loves us && yeah sometimes she gets mad but then she hugs us && plays with us …. our advice chew shoes ! && get dirty so then u can have a nice hot shower which i like but shaggy doesn’t (: