bruti-grass1Hey poochie pals, Bruti here. Mom says I’m a pretty good boy but every now and then, even good boys like me need little reminders of things I am not suppose to do and sometimes forget.  So for the the benefit of all my canine pals, I’ve compiled a little list of some of the things we need to remember.

So here, we go, keep these in mind and trust me, your life will go much smoother and you’ll make your humans much happier too!  And keep in mind, happy humans equal more treats and fun times! 🙂

  • The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff even though I haven’t gotten the chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
  • I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
  • I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, under the entertainment stand, phone table or any place else where my human must retrieve them… although it is kinda fun watching! BOL

  • I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before I enter the house.
  • I will not eat the cat’s food, before or after they eat it.
  • I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
  • I will not throw up in the car.
  • I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
  • I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal dung.
  • “Kitty box crunchies” are not food!
  • I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard or house depending on which end processes it first.
  • The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. (This one was contributed by a pal. Since there’s no babies around here, I don’t know what I might be missing out on here.)
  • I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
  • I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell him.
  • I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorraging.
  • I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it – again, this one is lots of fun!
  • When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
  • We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
  • I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
  • The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.
  • My head does not belong in the refrigerator. Not sure how I can figure out what’s good in there unless I can check it out but I guess I’ll have to come up with something else here.
  • I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.
  • I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is carrying her coffee, so she won’t trip over me.
  • I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat someone’s food if they leave it for just a moment.
  • I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don’t want to stay outside for more than two minutes. (Contributed by a canine pal, luckily Jezz and I have a doggie door so we don’t have to worry about screen doors.)
  • I will not chase the cat and knock over breakable things in the process.
  • I will allow Mom and Dad some room and covers when we go to bed.

I would like to woof out my thanks to a few of my pals for contributing to my list. Be sure to keep all these tips in mind my canine friends and if I’ve missed anything, please be sure to add it to the list. We gotta look out for each other! WOOF!

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