Andrea Rosebrock 
Hey poochie pals, Bruti here. Mom says I’m a pretty good boy but every now and then, even good boys like me need little reminders of things I am not suppose to do and sometimes forget. So for the the benefit of all my canine pals, I’ve compiled a little list of some of the things we need to remember.
So here, we go, keep these in mind and trust me, your life will go much smoother and you’ll make your humans much happier too! And keep in mind, happy humans equal more treats and fun times! 
- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff even though I haven’t gotten the chance to rip the bag to shreds to see what was in it.
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
- I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, under the entertainment stand, phone table or any place else where my human must retrieve them… although it is kinda fun watching! BOL
- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before I enter the house.
- I will not eat the cat’s food, before or after they eat it.
- I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up or have an accident.
- I will not throw up in the car.
- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
- I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal dung.
- “Kitty box crunchies” are not food!
- I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard or house depending on which end processes it first.
- The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. (This one was contributed by a pal. Since there’s no babies around here, I don’t know what I might be missing out on here.)
- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
- I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell him.
- I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorraging.
- I will not take whatever I please and hide it under the bed so my people can have a scavenger hunt looking for it – again, this one is lots of fun!
- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
- We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
- I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
- The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad’s laps.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator. Not sure how I can figure out what’s good in there unless I can check it out but I guess I’ll have to come up with something else here.
- I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.
- I will not stand around Mom when she is cooking or when she is carrying her coffee, so she won’t trip over me.
- I will not beg for food at the supper table, and especially not eat someone’s food if they leave it for just a moment.
- I will not tear up the patio furniture, or put holes in the screen so I may jump in and lounge, just because I don’t want to stay outside for more than two minutes. (Contributed by a canine pal, luckily Jezz and I have a doggie door so we don’t have to worry about screen doors.)
- I will not chase the cat and knock over breakable things in the process.
- I will allow Mom and Dad some room and covers when we go to bed.
I would like to woof out my thanks to a few of my pals for contributing to my list. Be sure to keep all these tips in mind my canine friends and if I’ve missed anything, please be sure to add it to the list. We gotta look out for each other! WOOF!
Bruti, those are great suggestions, but we, Buddy, Knight and Max must add one more. When Mom opens the door to the van, that does not mean we are going for a ride, and for one of us to run at breakspeed to jostle for shotgun position in the van. Max does this all the time, and it makes us, the other brothers mad.
And Bruti, don’t forget that the stairwell is not a racecourse. Moms have to hold on to the railing, and we cannot push her around while she is trying to get into the house, upstairs to go to bed, or going downstairs to feed us in the basement. Boy does our Mom get mad, so don’t upset your Mom!!!
your woofing friends,
Buddy, Knight and Little Max
Ohhh… good ones guys! Jezz and I have already got mom trained on the stairs here though, when she heads for them, us hard on her heels, she just steps aside, grabs the railing and lets us tear up or down first.
No worries here about vehicles, mom and dad set up the doors so there are two of them to get to the vehicles in the driveway so we can’t get out and run around, escape or make a mad dash for them. I’m sure there are plenty of pal who can benefit from this great advice tho!
Woofs and wags,
Bruti
Well Bruti and Susie’s 3 labs (so cute…all of you), I have a couple of similiar ones to add:
* Don’t stand up when mom is stepping over me and trip her up, even if it is funny watching her fly across the room….
* Besides rainwater, shake off the snow all over me before I come in the nice warm house and jump on the couch to let it melt
* Every time someone bangs something on a table or similar noise, I will not jump up barking like it’s the end of the world if I don’t stop the intruder from coming in
Things similar to yours Bruti…..just a different environment here. I guess we can all learn from each other…….hugs and sloppy kisses…..Sage
Thanks for adding those Sage! I like the one about standing up and watching mommy fly across the room… that would be funny! Yeah, I do the same thing with the snow too. Thing is is balls up in my fur so it can’t be shaken off…. no option but to come in and lay some where warm and cozy to let it melt! BOL!
Wiggles and wags,
Bruti
Sage, those were great! We do shake on mom and dad when we come in from the snow, and they don’t laugh at us. We don’t understand it. And being a lab, Sage, it is normal for us to stand up when mom and dad are trying to step over us. We do that and boy, does dad yell. When we want their attention, and they are not listening to us, we stand on their feet. Dad especially does not like that, but, it makes him remember we are here.
Bud has this habit of standing in between mom and the stove, just hoping something falls while she is cooking. But mom is short, and her arms cannot reach all the spices with Bud standing there, so he gets yelled at.
Sage, we think that you should come and visit. We could teach you not to go to sleep at night until you get a good bedtime snack like we do – mmmmm- sliced bananas and peanut butter, and maybe you have mastered the getting up and watching mom fly cause our mom always ends up grabbing onto one of us to break a fall.
Buddy, Knight and Maxi
WOW! Thanks Bruddy, Knight & Max! That sounds like loads of fun. I love peanut butter! Isn’t it cute what we do to our human mommy’s and daddy’s? See ya round like a doughnut!
Waga and wiggles……..Sage
Sage, mom and dad are outnumbered!
B K & M
All good points but I can add one more to the list.
I must not roll in the freshly cut grass when my master has a camera handy or he might just take a Photo of it/