Jezzie’s Really Helpful New Year’s Advice to Dogs
Usually Bruti always get to give advice but his advice is the kind that can get pups into trouble so this time I get to give some excellent advice for pups to follow that won’t get them into trouble. So pay heed now my pupper friends!
- Always choose the second-most comfortable chair. If you choose the best chair, someone will make you move.
- Have some pride. Don’t beg.
- A handshake is the proper greeting for people. Don’t sniff someone’s butt. Things will get off to a bad start cuz they don’t quite get it.
- Don’t stand up in a moving vehicle.
- Pace yourself. Periods of high activity should be followed by a nap.
- If you have to throw up, move off the rug.
- Don’t whine. If you do, someone will eventually just tell you to “quit whining.”
- Show a deep interest in what others are doing. For example, if someone likes gardening, GET INVOLVED. Help dig. But only where they let you!
- If someone is sleeping, sleep right along with him.
- Be friendly.
- If you put your head out the car window, keep your mouth shut.
- Remember: Give others privacy in the bathroom. It’s OK, though, to lie down in front of the door until they come out. (Also, there’s no secret exitfrom the bathroom, so whoever went in will eventually come out. See “Don’t whine.”)
- Never eat a stick.
- It’s more important to be nice than to be rich – as long as there’s enough money for chewies.
- Bees are not meant to be toyed with.
- It is good to take walks, greet the neighbors, then go back home where you belong.
- Never chase cars.
- Hot air balloons probably won’t harm you, but why take the chance? Go to the basement if one comes by.
- Be yourself. A pretentious dog – or person – is a laughingstock.
- Sit in the shade.
- Once in a while, run real fast for no reason. Our hoomans seem to find this amusing and happy hoomans = treats for pups.
- Don’t eat soap. (See item on “throwing up.”)
- Don’t take yourself too seriously, but if you have a job, such as keeping an eye on the squirrel, take your work seriously.
- Don’t hold a grudge. (A little sulking is OK.)
- If someone comes home late, be happy to see him.
- In Frisbee, what matters the most is really wanting to catch it.
- Be humble. If you’re not, others will just say, “He sure does think he’s something, doesn’t he,” and then you’re automatically not something anymore.
- Be careful around people with crutches.
- Don’t be alarmed when a skateboard goes by.
- Never sneak sips from someone’s beer glass. It catches up with you.
- In a pinch, if you feel confused, sit.
Now, following this advise should put you in good shape for the new year and from me and Bruti and everyone here, Happy New Year!! May 2009 bring only the best!
And may momma find much more good news to report rather than all this sad and bad stuff!
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